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Montreal Men's Circle : Exploring the Male Mystery
BY Hobbes
Two years ago, I attended my first Kaleidoscope Gathering Pagan Festival at Whispering Pines. It was a fantastic experience and ensured that I would return to the festival in August 2004, which I did. It was another great few days, although the few days of intense rain tested our mettle.
One of the fantastic experiences was attending the Men's Ritual. This was a first for me, participating in an all-men circle and my first exposure to exploring male spirituality. The main goal of the ritual was to participate in a series of challenges to determine who would be the new Stag King. I didn't do too badly in the competition, but what really impressed me was what was expressed in circle and then finally by the newly appointed Stag King at the end of the ritual.
These men spoke of male pride, being hunters, being protectors, and being leaders in our communities. It gave me lots to think about in the coming years, mainly about what it meant to be a man, not only as a spiritual male in a Pagan context, but also in society as a whole.
Like any good Pagan, I turned to books for ideas on the subject. I started with Robert Bly's Iron John and then moved to King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore.
In talking to other men, I began to feel that maybe men had lost touch with any real spiritual sense of themselves. Somewhere halfway in Moore's book, I found it odd that I needed to turn to books to explore the male mystery. Shouldn't I already know what the male mystery is, being a man myself? As I asked myself these questions, I realized how much I didn't really know about it.
So in the summer of 2004, I sat down and started designing rituals that would explore this mystery. The rituals would be an attempt to embrace and explore the mature masculine archetypes either through discussion or ritualistic activity. A friend suggested that a Bragging Circle would be an interesting idea, just like warriors would proclaim their accomplishments as hunters, as warriors, as protectors, or as magicians. A Men's Circle seemed to be a good place to tout those victories and have them recognized and toasted by their peers.
I continued brainstorming, reading, pondering and taking notes. In designing these rituals, I was trying to strike a balance between re-examining the traditional male archetypes, but staying away from negative stereotypes. During this journey, I started to notice how the status of men in society had been seriously undermined. Most of the popular media portrayed men as bumbling idiots (at best) and unapologetic slaves to their sexual urges (at worst), while the women were almost always portrayed as the smarter, stronger, and more mature characters. I'm certainly not saying that women aren't all these things, but was it truly necessary to turn men into raging buffoons in the process? How are men supposed to find strong role models when the popular media is constantly telling them that they are doomed to failure just because they are male? In a world where racial stereotyping in media is wrong, why is it okay to vilify men?
So this is what we need to fix, what we need to build on. Surrounded by negative programming, we as men need to rediscover and reclaim the concept of the strong male as a protector, as a leader, as a hunter, and as a warrior. Not an easy task, let me tell you.
The first of these Men's Circles took place on September 29th, the night of September's full moon. We had a turnout of six men, which really isn't bad for a first ritual. In the great tradition of mismanaging the time, I sent out the wrong time for the start of the ritual, so everyone showed up an hour after I had originally intended to get started. This first ritual was named the Accomplishment Stone and each man had the chance to proclaim a project, a goal, or a desire that they wished to achieve. Then each man would toast that declaration and drink (water) in the pledger's honour. It felt great.
This would be the start to the Bragging Circle idea that will be incorporated into each ritual from here on out. I've got five other rituals mapped out (including a Male Prosperity Ritual which is really a game of Poker in Sacred Space), but I'm hoping that the men who attend will either give me some more suggestions or take a more active role in designing these rituals.
Where this is headed, I'm uncertain. I'm walking this path as much as any other man is in the hopes of discovering the hidden layers of the Male Mystery. But hopefully the end result will be men who are stronger in their faith, more comfortable with themselves, and provide strong leadership within their own communities.
The next Men's Circle will be taking place at the MPRC Ritual Space on October 27th 2004 at 7:30 pm. I hope to see you there!
Hobbes is a writer and storyteller from Quebec city, now living in Montreal. He also runs the Montreal Pagan Community Elist.
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© 2004. This article appeared in the Samhain 2004 issue of WynterGreene. Permission to reprint, with full credit, must be granted by the author. If you would like to reprint this article, please email Wyntergreene. |
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