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SPECIAL Online Article : Internet Safety and the Pagan Parent
BY Karen Rice-Leroux
Keeping our children safe is a constant worry for all parents - no matter what their race, creed or colour. This worry has been exacerbated over the past 10 - 15 years by the addition of computers and the Internet into our homes.
It's the Pagan concept of balance in a technological form. The Internet can be a great friend, companion and resource without peer but it can just as easily turn into a terrible enemy. This connection to the world doesn't have security; it doesn't have border guards; the only protection between danger and your family is your knowledge, your understanding of this technology. It is your understanding that an Internet connection is similar to leaving your door wide open that will keep your children safe. Unmonitored Internet use by a child (and that includes teenagers) is similar to allowing your child to wander, unaccompanied, through the streets of every city in the world. Even adults can fall prey to the darker side of the Internet; always be aware that not only are you free to be whomever you choose on the 'Net but so is everyone else and some people are far more practiced in the art of deception than others. It is what they do best - it is their forte.
Children raised in a Pagan household are no more likely to seek out Pagan websites than a child raised in a Christian or Jewish home will actively seek out sites dedicated to their faith. They are kids and there are far more interesting things for them to do than research their religion. It doesn't hurt to promote child-safe Pagan sites and there are a few out there. Your job? Find them. They seem to pop up and then promptly disappear; creating and maintaining a web site is tough work.
For your own support as a Pagan parent; there is a wonderful group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CanadianPaganParents/
And for resources and ideas: http://www.paganparenting.com/ is a pretty good bet.
There is no guaranteed method for keeping your kids safe but common sense is your most powerful tool. Use it with abandon. Keep in mind that the Internet is an entry way to the world; how would you behave, as a parent, in a real life situation? Would you permit your child to speak to everyone on the street? In the malls? At the park? Hopefully not, so it follows that permitting your child unfettered Internet access would be just as foolhardy.
Your household rules should now have a new subsection - Internet Safety and Behaviour:
a. Never give out any personal information - no matter how nice the other user seems to be. Just because there is a photo in the profile doesn't mean that photo is real. Just as you can upload any picture you want - so can everyone else.
b. Someone who tells you that they are a 15-year-old boy/girl doesn't mean this is true. That 15-year-old boy/girl may just as easily be a 45-year-old with an allergy to taking a bath sitting around in drooping underwear.
c. Never, ever open attachments from strangers or folks you only know online.
d. If someone begins to talk about stuff that embarrasses you or makes you feel uncomfortable or guilty - talk to your parents or an older brother/sister.
e. NEVER, ever agree to meet ANYONE you only know from a chat or an IM. Remember that anyone can be whomever they want to be when they are online. That great looking guy/girl may turn out to be a monster in disguise.
There are other methods for keeping your kids safe and it is up to your personal comfort zone as to how far you want to go, as a parent.
1. Don't put Internet access in your child's room; put it in a central place. If you don't have much space, put it in the living room. If your child wants to listen to music or play online games, make the access for inserting headphone jacks easily accomplished. Always remember the "an open door to the world" concept of the 'Net.
2. Keep an eye on your child's activities - chats, e-mails and IM messages. Do walk-bys and see what's going on. If your child immediately closes a message at your approach, there is a problem and it needs your IMMEDIATE attention.
3. If your child has a blog; take some time to read it. Often these blogs can give you insight into a side of your child you didn't know existed. Not just negative, often kids will use the blog to express their creativity. You may be pleasantly surprised by your offspring's untapped talents.
4. If you really want to keep in eye on things - there are stealth programs available. The programs run in the background, silently and are difficult to detect. The programs come with key logger capabilities and will record anything your child sends or receives, even IM messages. There is a good one from Softprobe: http://www.softprobe.com/
5. Stay current with your child's online friends - just as you would with their "real life" friends.
6. Monitor your child's time on the computer - usage can become an obsession very quickly and will have an impact on your child's relationship with the real world.
7. The computer should be a pastime, not a replacement for reality. Encourage your child to walk away from the monitor and the keyboard. Provide them with stimulation that doesn't include the computer.
8. Keep the lines of communication open with your children; it is, often, a bit of a relief for a parent when the kids are online. You can take care of all the things that need to be done but bear in mind, just as the television is not an appropriate surrogate parent, neither is the computer. In fact, the Internet can be far more dangerous. Would you engage the services of a babysitter with whom you are unfamiliar? Same deal applies to the computer. You have no idea who is on the other end of that connection.
9. Help your child develop their profile - avoid suggestive names like: cutechik or nastyboy - things like that. Don't let the profile be too informative; keep their age, their sex and location private. Encourage your child to do the same in chat, e-mail or IM. Explain the dangers in a no nonsense fashion.
10. Invest in antivirus software - good antivirus software. Don't waste your time with trial editions, make the investment, it is worth it. I thoroughly recommend visiting the F-Secure site - they've been around for years and are often the people who discover the new viruses, Trojans and worms first.
Remember, while the computer and the Internet may be great friends to your family; it can also be a terrible invasion into your life and the lives of your family. Treat it with the respect it deserves.
Karen Rice Leroux is the mother of three; founder and former president of WIPA. She is a member of the PFPC and involved with the Pagan Pastoral Outreach (PPO) although has recently returned to private life and practice.
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